Post Script: To Have and To Hold

When I returned to my village, I came home from the clinic one day to find Soté, Lahmine and Bébé having lunch and making tea. Lahmine was reclined in his chair, his youngest daughter, Barro, on his lap. Bébé and Soté were making lunch together and everyone seemed relaxed and at ease.

Another day, Banta rushed home to take me to a masked dance, where I found Soté strapping Barro onto Bébé's lap.

Perhaps I can never understand, I thought to myself. Perhaps marital bliss is possible even if a man does take two wives. Perhaps my Western perspective just doesn't let me see how life really is here.

Days later, I'm sitting with Soté as she makes the macaroni she sells at market when Nba, her eldest daughter returns from Bébé's compound. Immediately, Soté asked her everything about it. How many pots did Bébé have? How many chairs were at the compound?

Lahmine is never around anymore. He is always at Bébé's compound. Sometimes he comes just for a minute or two, and Soté and I know he's not staying if he leaves his moto outside the compound walls -- easy access for his trip back to Bébé. I don't know how Soté couldn't be upset. I'm not even married to the man, and I'm upset that he's disappeared. "Did you get lost?" I ask him when he shows up just to say hello after I haven't seen him in days. Barro has started running out to the road and calling for Lahmine at random times, even though there's no sign of her father down the road.

I know it's getting to Soté too. When Lahmine comes but doesn't stay, Soté starts to pick fights with him, and I sit between them wondering if this is what it feels like when you're parents are getting a divorce. One night, I'm with Soté and she makes me call Lahmine to ask when he's coming home. When I call, I can hear laughter in the background. Bébé's compound is a great hangout. Their are not babies running around sick and crying. There are plenty of chairs and one of Lahmine's friends shares the compound. When I ask Lahmine when he's coming home, I feel like the unwanted rock around his neck and I hate Soté for making me call and Lahmine for making Soté feel lonely and desperate.

Now that it's been a month, Lahmine has started to spend a couple nights at Soté's house again. On those nights, Soté gets dressed up in one of her prettiest complies and does her eyes. She makes Lahmine something special to eat, and I can't tell you how comforted I feel to come home and find Lahmine's moto settled in for the night in their compound. All is as it should be.